Rose woke me up at 5:15 am yesterday morning. I’m not really a morning person and I don’t usually wake up until around 7:30, but yesterday was a little different. Rose woke me up because she was worried about a tornado warning in the county just below us.
When I told her that the tornado was a little south of us (and didn’t include the information that the tornado was heading right in our direction), she easily and happily went back to sleep. Her faith in my word was that strong. I, however, found myself up for the morning, listening to see if we were going to have to get up and go to our tornado safe place. It was my parental duty. (We didn’t because the rotation stopped, and the warning stayed about 10 miles to our south.)
I thought about my writing earlier this week about becoming like a child. Rose’s trust and faith in me was the kind of faith that I know that the Father wants to see in me. Even in the midst of a horrible thunderstorm, with the sky continually lit up by lightning and crashing thunder everywhere, she was able to rest and trust in my ability to protect her in the storm.
It reminded me of the disciples on the boat in Matthew chapter 8. They had set out over the Sea of Galilee and a storm came up that was so horrible that the disciples were afraid that they were going to die. Jesus was deep in the ship still asleep. He must have been exhausted!! The disciples, in their fear, went and woke Jesus up, and Jesus was basically like, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” (Matt. 8: 26) Then, he calmed the storm.
I would like to think that when the storm comes that I’m more like my Rose, trusting in Jesus enough to sleep, even when the storm in my life is going on around me. However, in my most honest moments of evaluation, I know that I’m more like the disciples–awake with my worries and fears–panicking and worrying and trying anything I can to get Jesus’s attention. I treat him like he doesn’t know or understand my problems. That’s why I often have little faith instead of the big, bold faith that I would like to have in my life.
Yet, I find that when I stop and take stock of my life that Jesus has always been faithful to me. I find that so many blessings have come from the Father that I don’t know which ones to name first. He’s been with me in every storm, every sunny day and every dark night. That’s when my fear turns itself into faith. That’s when the truth invades Satan’s lies. That’s when I’m able to cling to the cross and instead of focusing on the storm that I am in, instead my pain and fear turns to wonder as I am amazed that he would love me and that he would so richly bless me. Maybe I can learn to stop panicking and to show faith instead.