I’ve been really working through some of the resources that I received through the National Center for Biblical Parenting when I worked on the launch team for Motivate Your Child. So, a week or two ago on Saturday, I spent part of the afternoon listening to Scott Turansky’s MP3 lecture for How to Develop Gracious Speech. Can I just say that I have a long way to go in this category?
Anyway, while I was visiting this lecture, I decided that I needed to pull out the copy of Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes… in You and Your Kids that I have on my shelf and start reading it and putting it to practice. At the same time, I decided that I also “needed” to buy the Kid’s Honor Club Curriculum so that the children and I can work on gracious speech, and more importantly, honoring each other in our hearts. So, this is going to be part of our school this summer.
I went ahead and started reading Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes… in You and Your Kids so that I can begin making the changes that I need to in my heart to be effective in ministering to my children. We all need changes here.
So, to get through this long introduction to what I’m writing, I’m going to be going and writing about the answers to some of the reflection questions and exercises in the book on my blog for accountability. I’ll also be blogging through our Kid’s Honor Club journey, so that you guys can see the progress (or lack thereof) we’re making.
One of the first things I want to write about is Jesus’s statement in Mark 6:4. The Bible says,
But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house.
That’s a proverb with serious truth in it. How often does familiarity breed contempt and disrespect in our lives. Often I find that I automatically assume I know what one of the children means or is thinking because I’m around them so much. I never assume the best. That I can tell you.
If I listen to my children I’m often surprised by their thoughtfulness and the things they say. The problem is that I don’t always listen. Instead, I’ve already condemned them in my minds before they can ever act or talk.
Of course, that works both ways. Firecracker asked me a question today, and when I answered, Rose said, “I knew that was coming.” She had already figured out what I was going to say, and she often prefaces a question with, “I already know you’re going to say…” Many times, it wasn’t what I was going to say or do at all.
I wouldn’t do that to other children. I just do that to them because I “know” them so well that I don’t take the time to respect who they are. They wouldn’t assume that someone else’s mother would say to them what they think I might say to them. We do that because we don’t think of them with honor.
I show that type of dishonor all the time to Jesus. I think I know him so well. Because we’re constantly hearing sermons or reading about his sacrifice, it becomes so familiar to us that we become desensitized to it. We become blasé about the fact that the Son of God sacrificed everything he is, or was or could be and laid all down for us. We’re like, “Yeah, Jesus died for me, but I love my sin more than him.” There’s a lack of honor in this relationship.
I have a child that yells at me sometimes when I tell him what do do. Sometimes I yell back. There’s quite obviously a lack of honor in this relationship.
Honor in your own house is hard because you know the weaknesses of the people you’re with, and you always assume that even the good things that they do are prey to those weaknesses. Maybe they are, but maybe, just maybe, you’re not showing them an appropriate amount of honor.
I’ll be back with more on this topic soon!
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